Outsider’s Insights

The “Zeit” had a great article about an online magazine:
Tom Flynn berichtete im Online-Magazin “artnose” im Rahmen einer Satire zu den umstrittenen Nominierungen des Turner-Preises für zeitgenössische Kunst

[Quote] über einen Konzeptkünstler, der nach acht Monaten aus einem Erdloch aufgetaucht und gleich für den Turner Prize vorgeschlagen wird. Sein Name sei “Dick Tater”. [Quote]

Here’s today’s headline:

[Quote]
Old Master market hit by ‘bird flu’

By Artnose Science Correspondent
Dr Salmonella Pronkstilleven

January 30th 2003

‘Bird flu’, the mysterious SARS-like virus ravaging Asia, has struck the Old Master paintings market with potentially devastating consequences. Experts say hundreds of bird paintings have been infected with the disease, which could have a disastrous effect on the forthcoming Maastricht fine art fair where millions of dollars change hands each year for hideous pictures of wildfowl, domestic poultry and other avian species.

Masterpieces by painters such as Melchior Hondecoeter (1636-1695) – the so-called ‘Raphael of the Birds’ – and works by Luis Agassiz Fuertes have been particularly hard hit, forcing dealers to don surgical gloves and face masks when showing clients round their fashionable galleries.

Artnose visited one London dealer whose business has been savaged by the virus. We found him slumped over his Regency desk, surrounded by gilt-framed canvases, a small revolver lying nearby on a Huguenot silver tray. Sobbing into his Starbucks skinny latte, the besuited Old Master specialist choked back the tears and lamented the spread of the deadly disease. “Look at all this bootiful poultry,” he gasped, making an expansive gesture across a room full of paintings by Edgar Hunt.“Gone! Gone! It’s all worthless! BSE never did this to their bloody highland cattle pictures! Why me? I’m ruined!”

Over on the other side of town, a young Brit Art conceptualist stood outside the ICA shuddering with uncontrollable laughter. Pulling back the cowl of his black hooded gown and brandishing a scythe above his head, he bellowed, “Ha! Ha! Et in Arcadia Ego!”

The famous turkey painter Sir Bernard Matthews RA was unavailable for comment.

Dr Salmonella Pronkstilleven [Quote]

Check it out.

Edited on Jan 31st 2004, 15:04 by Outsider